The Thing is….

When you’re trying to date over the age of 30, you really have to do it with significantly more style than “Hey baby, wanna come over to my place?”  Ummmm, no, I don’t…. jack ass.  You’re a grown damn man.  I sort of expect you to maybe take me out to dinner and be able to hold up your end of an intelligent conversation.  I expect you to have to dress to impress, shave, put on cologne, put gas in your car and at least TRY and pretend that you believe making a good impression on my is a prerequisite to getting me in the sack.  Truth is…. it is.  If I don’t think you are an adult with future partner potential, I’m not sleeping with you.  Hell, I’m not even entertaining answering your calls or texts.  It isn’t high school.  I’m a grown woman with obligations and responsibilities and I have no time to be wasting time with players or morons.  I don’t flip my hair and giggle and I don’t sleep with a man who I A) don’t know and B) have not had my interest piqued in.  You pique my interest by letting me get to know you, telling me a little about your life, letting me find out who you are…. showing an interest in me outside of getting me in your bed.  Capice?

Bottom line:  Don’t be a jerk

So, until next time, remember “If you want a woman to be a tiger in your bed, first you’ve got to get into her head”

Toodles!

So What’s The Story?

Hey, Joelle! What brings a nice girl like you to a place like this?

Funny you should ask. Well, let’s see: I am a 38 year old, recently separated, mother of four, who is trying to get back into dating and attempting to find my new place in the world.

Wheeeee (not)

Being separated sucks. Divorce sucks. Dating REALLY sucks.

Dating is not what it used to be, and I’m beginning to fear that men aren’t either.

A friend recently signed me for a dating web site, and for all you single guys out there looking for cyber love, this one’s for you!

Gentlemen, if you want to catch a quality woman, here are some basic do’s and dont’s:

DO:
-post a picture of your self smiling
-feel free to stand next to your really cool car/motorcycle/boat/plane in said picture (sad but true fact is women like to know that you’re financially stable. She doesn’t want you sitting on the couch, drinking beer, eating cheetos and expecting her to pay for it)
-talk about your interests
-be positive
-show a sense of humor
-be real and be yourself

DO NOT:
-post a picture of yourself in a stupid hat showing off what you think are your muscles (if you’re a body builder – hey power to ya – show it off! If you’re not – don’t)
-try to talk/look/act like you are 25 if you are over the age of 26 (this includes wearing your baseball hat backwards, using the word “wit” for “with”, or saying you have swagger. Saying you do is a guarantee you don’t.)
-be a pompous jack ass. There is a fine line between confidence and obnoxious. Women like confident. If we wanted obnoxious we’d be at the bar
-say things like: “Hey baby”"Sweet thang”"Sexy Mama”. These are not a way to address a woman you’ve never ever spoken to before.

In a nutshell: be who you ARE… Not who you think it would be “cool” to be.

My parting words of wisdom: asking a woman you’ve never met, seen, or spoken to in person to climb into bed with you is not romantic or evidence of your prowess. It’s just sleazy and makes you look like a dick.

So, until next time, remember “romance is key, even if you think you’re a G”

Toodles!

Joelle
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Hello there, Boys! ;)

Interpersonal relationships. Sounds so… scientific. I’m not a huge fan of sounding scientific. I’m a huge fan of keeping it real, of writing like I would talk to my best friend over coffee (or tea because I freakin’ hate coffee), and of letting someone know, in no uncertain terms, what’s on my mind.

It’s like this: a few months ago, I was sitting in a Mexican restaurant with a male friend, commiserating over the dismal state of affairs of our current (respective) love lives. As we talked, my friend made the suggestion that I should write a book on the communication process between men and women.

Actually, what he said was “Damn, Girl! You’re a woman who thinks like a man. You should write a book. Guys everywhere will thank you”.

Same thing.

There are those of you out there now thinking: Woman that thinks like a man? What are we talking here?

So to set the record straight, right off the bat:

I am indeed a woman. Says so right on my birth certificate. “Female”

So then what makes me… Different? Than the typical female?

I don’t like:
-chick flicks (I’m more a horror or action kinda gal)
-romance novels (suspense or military history are more my style)
-Gray’s Anatomy (I’d rather gouge my own eyes out)
-soap operas (I’m significantly more Superbowl than soap opera)
-shoe shopping (how many pairs does one person need. Two. Maybe three in a pinch.)
-not a fan of the mall (huge fan of muscle cars)

You picking up what I’m throwing down here?

So, after consulting with (read this as badgering the hell out of) many of my close, personal, friends (read this as those who couldn’t escape) I’ve made the decision to start this little blog in the hopes that it will either benefit, amuse, or make someone smile. Or kill some time at the Dr’s office. Even if it just does any number of those things for me alone.

So, until next time, remember “Men and women are not the same… so I’m here to help you not be lame”

Toodles!

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.